Good girls finish last. That’s truly how I’ve felt for some time now. It seems all the wild, bad girls are the ones getting wifed up and getting all the attention. But when you’ve grown up in a household where submission to a man is a cultural thing (Egyptian/Nigerian culture), you deviate from the societal norm and take the road less traveled: the good girl route.
While in graduate school, I sparked a relationship with the wide receiver at the opposing university: the one across the tracks as we call it. He was sweet, charming, present, admired my educational pursuits and we hit it off instantly. I was glad that he chose me instead of one of those “cleat chasers” — girls of the opposite race, who made it their college goal to date and get pregnant by an FSU football player.
As spring semester ended, he left for Orlando to train for the NFL and we kept in contact regularly. One day he called saying he wanted me to come down and see him. I obliged and told him I would spend the weekend with him.
I arrived in Orlando on a Friday evening and surprised him with a gift. He seemed somewhat appreciative. Nevertheless, I took him to dinner. Yes, he didn’t have any money. He complained his agent was not supporting him properly so as the cavalier girlfriend I was, I came right in and was his helpmeet (as I do in ALL my relationships).
Saturday morning, he expressed to me how he has cousins in the surrounding city and would like to visit them. He said he missed his family and asked if he could use my car to visit them. Of course, I said, “yes”. I gave him the keys to my car AND $200 just in case he needed anything. I didn’t have any problems staying alone at his place because I had a lot of studying to catch up on.
He left the house at 1:30 pm and still was not back by 7 pm. No worries I thought to myself, it’s still early. By 11 pm I started to wonder where he was. I called his phone and it went to voicemail. I fell asleep and woke up at 3 am and he STILL was not back yet. He also didn’t answer his phone. Then at 7 am I woke up again and went looking through his stuff to see if I could find a sliver of anything to let me know where or who he could be with.
God led me to his dresser where I saw a white piece of paper folded. I opened it and found a woman’s name and phone number. Of course I called the number and a woman picked up. I introduced myself and my reason for calling: concern for where James was.
Much to my surprise, she stated “Oh he is here. He is laying next to me”.
My mouth dropped open and I proceeded to ask her who she was and she stated she was James’ girlfriend and that last night he took her out to eat and then got a hotel and they spent the night there.
So much for that $200 I gave him. I didn’t know he would use that to fund a date with another woman. So I told her to put him on the phone because the car he was driving was mine and the money he used to pay for the dinner and hotel was my money. She proceeded to say that James told her that I was his NFL agent and that I gave him the car and the money as part of the contract. I had to laugh at that. He refused to speak to me so I told her to tell him if I don’t see my car at his house in the next 20 minutes, I would call the police. He then took the phone from her and hung up on me.
You can imagine how PISSED OFF I WAS. All I saw was red and when I see red, that is NEVER a good thing. I called the police, reported my car stolen, provided the authorities his name and the phone number to contact him and they told me they would call him and if he didn’t bring my car they would issue a warrant for his arrest.
I’m not down for seeing a brother go to jail but what he did to me was foul when ALL I had been to him was a good, supportive woman. The police showed up to James’ townhouse, we waited for 45 minutes and James still hadn’t shown up. The police called the girl’s phone and warned him that he had another 30 minutes to show up if not, they would arrest him. James finally showed up and threw my car keys at me and went into his house. I followed him, packed up my things and drove 4 hours home wondering what I did to deserve such treatment.
Where is James now?
I’m sure you all are wondering. Well, he NEVER made it to the NFL OR the AFL. No team wanted him. He’s no longer with the woman he ditched me for. He now has 4 kids from like 3 different women and he moved back home with his mother in some backwoods city in Georgia.
I follow him on Instagram so that HE CAN SEE HOW SUCCESSFUL I’ve become and let him look back on his mistakes. Have I forgiven him? I have. He called me two years after the incident wanting to reconnect and I had to remind him of what he did to me and he was shocked. He couldn’t believe he did that.
He apologized and I accepted it but I told him I can NEVER be in a relationship with him again because I know his tendencies.
Last month, he sent me a DM on Instagram congratulating me on becoming a doctor. I told him, thank you and congrats on his kids. I didn’t know what else to congratulate him on as he isn’t working or doing anything gainful.
This story taught me the importance of humility and appreciation because you never know how life will turn out for you. Have I changed my ways in how I deal with men as in not being so caring and supportive? No, I have not. I refuse to allow a person’s folly to change the good nature that is in me. God says do not grow weary in doing good and I will remain steadfast and not allow bad experiences to taint the good heart I have. They say good girls finish last, but the Bible says he who is last shall be first, so I think I’ll be just fine. 🙂
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Nkechi Ikediobi is a native of Florida. She was born in Cairo, Egypt and relocated to Tallahassee, FL. Nkechi is an alumnus of the illustrious Florida Agricultural & Mechanical University and is currently a Pharmacist. In her spare time, she enjoys leisure reading, traveling, and outdoor adventures.