It’s Cuffin’ Season: You Cuffin’ For Convenience or Nah?

It’s Cuffin’ Season: You Cuffin’ For Convenience or Nah?

These [heauxs] keep calling, I ain’t pick up (yeah)

These [heauxs] keep calling, I ain’t pick up (yeah)

Told these [heauxs] I’ll be back around June (around June)

Told these [heauxs] I’ll be back around June

Better yet I’ll change my number for the whole winter (who?)

D*mn, it’s so cold in the f*cking winter (whoo)

-Fabolous- Cuffin’ Season

Fab I felt you a personal level with this one. Cuffin’ season not even fully upon us yet and dudes that I haven’t heard from all summer are starting to hit my line. And I’m over here like

I’m good luv, enjoy.

…well in real life I’m responding to a few because I was living my best life this summer lol.

Before I get too far gone let me make sure everyone knows what I mean when I say cuffiin’ season. According to the urban dictionary (I mean where else would I go for this definition?), cuffin’ season is

The season in which everyone is getting coupled up usually happens when the weather is changing and it is getting cold outside.

Now I’m not here to give you a step by step guide on how to get cuffed. I already did that sis. Read my post here: A woman’s guide to shootin’ the perfect shot every time

What we have gathered around to talk about today (well you know hypothetically gathered) is whether you cuffin’ because you looking for a temporary companion until its warm out or are you cuffin’ because you actually like the dude? See now that’s some real tea.

I want to be real with you I support healthy relationships all day long and I hope y’all out here getting boo’ed up because you actually like the dude. But sometimes that’s not how real life works out.  Things can get a bit messy. I mean we are human and instant gratification feels good and is nice for that moment (or season). Heyy! Women we can be about that life too!

Cuffin’ a dude because you just want someone to cuddle with while y’all read books might be the move for JUST winter. Black twitter please don’t come for me. I think library dates or anything involving us sharing space yet independently doing our thing is cute. That’s likely the introvert in me.

So, how do you engage in a temporary cuffing relationship without getting hurt on the other side?

#1 Be honest about what y’all are doing – We together or nah? 

Y’all have to learn to communicate with people. It might save you some hurt in the end. Also, side piece of advice, if he says he’s not looking for a relationship…accept that he isn’t looking for a relationship [with you] and decide if you can handle that situation or not. If it’s established that y’all are just in a situationship then that’s what it is. Also, don’t accept “relationship status” if you know you don’t like Chris like that. He not gonna change sis!

#2 Set boundaries.

We having sex or nah? You seeing other people or nah? Agree upon these things up front so it takes the guesswork out of what’s happening when y’all aren’t together.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot if he’s hesitant around discussing #1 and/or #2 or he hits you with the “we will see” or only time can tell”…run now sis!

#3 If it’s established that it’s not a relationship…get a hobby, sis.

I’m not even joking, really get a hobby. Part of even wanting a temporary situationship is to fill empty space aka you’re lonely, so you need something to do with your free time. Whether it’s reading books, crafting, starting a business or WHATEVER do something that doesn’t involve someone else.

Also, for my people that end up in real life relationships, this is good advice for you too. Stop trying to make y’all men (or women) your everything. That ain’t gonna work.

#4 Going into a situationship doesn’t negate respect for yourself or others.

I use to think that self-respecting women weren’t out here in situationships because they had too much respect for themselves. The reality is you can be mistreated/disrespected in the context of a friendship, a relationship, or a situationship. The title doesn’t create that dynamic. It’s the type of interaction that’s happening with the person that you are dealing with.

We work hard, it’s okay to have a little fun sometimes. It doesn’t mean that you won’t end up with your foreva bae…it just might not be this winter.

#5 If you start to feel uncomfortable, remember you can end things.

You have that right and own that right. Sometimes you try things and it just doesn’t work and that’s okay. Just learn from it and then it’s on to the next!

What are your thoughts on temporary relationships? Hit me up in the comments below!

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