How else do you say it’s official other than posting your bae on social media. I kid, I kid. However, I have seen many a debate on whether or not you should post your significant other on social media and if you decide NOT to what that means.
To post or not to post?
The argument for “to post” stems from the belief that if we doing this thing forreal forreal then you should let these people know (especially those women or men that have been in your DMs and all up in your comments leaving heart emojis and ish).
Also, if you love me then you shouldn’t be ashamed to publicly declare your love for me…because I mean that’s the only way to show love in the digital age. *insert serious sarcasm*
The argument for “not to post” lies in the belief that I keep my personal life private and I don’t have to share everything on social media.
In this argument great attention is made to distinguish between private and hiding one’s partner. Some people that fall in this camp don’t even follow the person they are seeing on social media. The closest glimpse you may get is a face with an emoji covering it or an arm or hand in an IG story lol.
Is social media really that serious?
Unfortunately, the culture of “relationship goals” make it more complicated than a simple choice to post or not. #Relationshipgoals appear under couple’s pictures that best represents true love of one’s partner. I’ve seen this hashtag used for vacation pictures, wedding and engagement shoots, and even silly videos where couples are having fun with their “best friend”.
The problem with the constant admiration for these #relationshipgoals pictures is a distorted view of what love is or even what relationships look like.
People see a still shot and create an entire narrative about the couple’s lives and their level of happiness. Unfortunately, I know some of those people behind the #relationshipgoals pictures and honey the turmoil is real. Constant emotional, verbal, or physical abuse or limited time together. None of this should be anybody’s relationship goals.
I mean I think its cute and all that people want to know the prayer that Ciara prayed for Russell or Will Smith for Jada’s amazing spirit. I mean Nicole Ari Parker did let us in on the tea for the prayer she prayed for Boris and it was abundantly clear that sis wasn’t about settling instead she was determined to level up in this thing called love.
Me: Dear Lord, What should I do?
GOD: Make a list.
Me: A list?
GOD: Yes. Write down EVERYTHING you want. Even the parts you don’t want me to see. 😒
GOD: The spiritual stuff, the heart & mental stuff, the physical and the financial.
Me: 😲umm okay: Loving, warm, WANTS to be a husband & father, Fine 😜, WANTS to provide, mentally, physically and spiritually strong, AFFECTIONATE, curious about the world, likes to travel, likes music, likes history, likes art, likes the theatre, big hands, big feet🤔, sexy, really smart, funny, fun, got jokes, makes the highest & best choices for himself, has that “no-matter-what-I-got-this” spirit cause ish is gonna happen, respects his mother, forgives his father, loves himself and knows God. 💛
GOD: Okay now REALLY take that in. SEE him, FEEL him in your mind. SIT WITH THAT…ENJOY THAT..Now ask yourself.. Is he perfect for you?
Me: (inhales and exhales deeply) Yes..Lawd..I mean Lord. YES.
GOD: Now ask yourself… if he enters the room RIGHT now..Are you perfect for him?
Me: (takes reallyyy long pause)…..Proceeds to get mind right & affairs in order, rereads Their Eyes Were Watching God, goes to therapy, examines issues, forgives herself & others, calls parents more often, renews passport, goes to church, does a sit up and goes for a run, dusts off that business idea i had🤔, remembers to laugh, buys nice lotion and rubs it all over body EVERYDAY, then buys some more, stays grateful for all her parts, cherishes friends, dances in her room, balances checkbook, makes green juice, loves herself. (Sidebar: At that point…after all that..i was good either way..happy, confident and moisturized.)
💛 and THEN
here he comes… 💛
The best part of the tea that Nicole Ari Parker disclosed that I think some people missed was that Nicole did some work BEFORE Boris was in the picture to get herself ready for love. Sis got her affairs all the way in order and began to care for herself FIRST.
You should be entering into a relationship as a complete and whole person with someone who is also complete and whole. Please miss me with this better half talk…mainly because it is used as an excuse to show up to a relationship broken hoping that the intimacy you receive from a romantic partner will make you whole. That’s not how it goes, especially if you want things to work well in your relationship.
So what should you do to get your Russell, Boris or Will?
Sis stop screaming relationship goals every time you see a new cute couple pop up.
We already discussed we do not know what goes on in those people lives in real life.
Ask yourself are you really happy being alone? Or are you even truly alone?
Think about this question long and hard and give the real answer to this question. Make sure that you are happy with the person that you are before preparing to enter into a relationship.
Are you making the most of your time as a single person?
If not, get you some hobbies, some friends, and go out and do some things.
Don’t be so influenced by other people, social media, or what you think you should be doing.
Enjoy the process and move at a pace that is most comfortable to you and your potential new bae.
Are your affairs really in order.
I remember the Reverend aka my mother once said
I prayed to God for a new car and he said you aren’t taking care of the one you have.
Whew! We out here asking for a Bentley of a man when you are not ready for a Ford Fiesta of a man.
Oh yeah and about this posting your significant other on social media…make sure y’all forreal forreal first sis. I don’t want you to be one of those women that’s deleting a new bae every other month. Go get your life together first because boo you clearly not ready for a relationship yet.
Have you ever posted a person you were dating on social media?