Is Your Ex Worth a Second Chance?

Is Your Ex Worth a Second Chance?

As cuffin’ season is gearing up, I’ve been thinking a lot about should you just ignore all of those “I miss you” text messages or is there someone worth revisiting. I get it most of these text messages likely have you rolling your eyes and wondering why they just won’t move on. 

Read It’s Cuffin’ Season: You Cuffin’ for Convenience or Nah? to learn how to conquer this cuffing season

Here are a few faves I’ve received so far:

Made in America just passed and it made me think of you (we went together last year)

Why haven’t I heard from you?!

Uh, sir, it’s been a year and we didn’t end on the best of terms.

And then there is always the random:

Hey, how have you been?!

Ah-mazing without hearing from you sir.

With text messages like this coming from everywhere it can be hard to even consider taking any of these men seriously. However, I was hit up by an old boo and I realized that beyond the standard “I miss you” text there could be so much more. But I’m over here like

do I just let the past be the past OR

do I accept that personal growth could have happened AND the timing could be right now.

Hmm… so much to consider.

So a bit of a backstory on “Mr. Potential Missed Opportunity” that we will call Chris.

Chris and I started off as close friends. We would text and joke all day. I wasn’t sure if I had mistaken Chris’s attention as interest or if he really was interested…lol. It later became apparent that we were both feeling each other; however, I was getting ready to move across the country, so I was hesitant about pursuing anything “real” with him. I thought for sure it would just be a summer fling because who was really getting ready to travel across the country for your girl. (At that time I had low self-esteem and I didn’t realize how poppin’ I was in real life. HA!).

Fast forward, the day of my big move arrived and we said Good-bye. I prepared for that to be our final hug…but it wasn’t. Y’all Chris really caught some flights for the kid.

Our relationship was going great and then life hit us both super hard about 6 months into our relationship. Ironically, we both were battling depression but neither of us was willing to name it or seek professional help. It ruined our relationship because we could no longer see each other. All we saw were all of the things we were hurt by in our personal lives and the constant desire to escape those painful experiences, yet neither of us could seem to get out the arms of depression. Needless to say, we were no longer there for each other and we eventually split.

I cared very deeply for Chris and we genuinely loved each other. However, I felt like that was the worse time of our lives to try and be in a relationship. We clearly couldn’t care for ourselves so how were we supposed to be in a relationship?! Yeah, no.

It took two years for me to see this version of our relationship. If you would have asked me two years ago why we broke up, I likely would’ve just said because he was an asshole.

In terms of thinking whether or not to give it another shot, I have a ton of feelings….

I should be moving forward and not backward and this feels like I’m taking a huge step backward.

Has Chris really changed? I mean I have but c’mon has he really changed.

I’m mad that he walked away from the relationship (in real life I broke up with him).

No, but I am mad for real.

I do miss him although we live on two different coasts.

What are people going to think if I date him again?

I could keep going on and on. Bottom line is I have ALL of the feelings right now. I’m just allowing myself to experience them all and that’s okay.

Am I really going to give Chris another chance?

Only time will tell…

What would it take for you to give someone from your past another chance?

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